Review: The Dead Queens Club by Hannah Capin

1:04 AM

Long live the Queens! 


 What do a future ambassador, an overly ambitious Francophile, a hospital-volunteering Girl Scout, the new girl from Cleveland, the junior cheer captain, and the vice president of the debate club have in common? It sounds like the ridiculously long lead-up to an astoundingly absurd punchline, right? Except it’s not. Well, unless my life is the joke, which is kind of starting to look like a possibility given how beyond soap opera it’s been since I moved to Lancaster. But anyway, here’s your answer: we’ve all had the questionable privilege of going out with Lancaster High School’s de facto king. Otherwise known as my best friend. Otherwise known as the reason I’ve already helped steal a car, a jet ski, and one hundred spray-painted water bottles when it’s not even Christmas break yet. Otherwise known as Henry. Jersey number 8.

Meet Cleves. Girlfriend number four and the narrator of The Dead Queens Club, a young adult retelling of Henry VIII and his six wives. Cleves is the only girlfriend to come out of her relationship with Henry unscathed—but most breakups are messy, right? And sometimes tragic accidents happen…twice…

MY  RATING: ★★★★
As a note, a copy of this novel was sent to me by the publisher in exchange for an honest review. This does not effect my opinions in any way.

Well, this was a FANTASTIC and highly entertaining and, in all ways, indulgent. I have not had this much fun with a YA novel since Paul Rudnick's hilarious novel Gorgeous. As far as reading it, here's what happened with me and The Dead Queens Club: I came for the bending of historical figures and stayed for ALL THE SNARKIFIED (????) HILARITY THAT ENSUED and the friendships that developed, or grew, in time.

This was a BLAST. Am I living for the girl gang that is The Dead Queens Club? Yes. Am I about to reread it again after only just finishing it this morning? I'm not answering that. Don't look at me! I just found this book to be such a good time, I'm about to hop back on it in record time. If AIM was a thing, still, my away message would be: "Sorry, can't talk, I've decided to smash my face into the pages of The Dead Queens Club, cells good, text it!!11!!"

This book was honestly everything I'd hoped it be and then more. Pure entertainment! To quote the most brilliant scholar of our time, Britney Spears, " There's only two types of people in the world. The ones that entertain and the one's that observe. " (???????) Am I saying that this book is the Britney Spears of this years YA books? Perhaps. Am I merely babbling due to lack of sleep? *Crickets*

BACK ON TRACK, BACK ON TRACK. Here's how I would describe this one: Undead Girl Gang (minus the witchcraft and zombies) meets The Tudors (minus the corsets) meets John Tucker Must Die (minus the redemption arch) and I stand by this 100%. Capin takes familiar historical figures and fashions them into modern day high schoolers in a way that is too fun for words.

What you'll find in The Dead Queens Club is simple: girls who've HAD IT with f*ckboys (I mean, same) and fantastic characters. You may also find a shoe print on your heart immediately after closing it because Capin really goes to town in luring you in with humor, only to grab your heart and stomp on it a little with some, er, deaths. I mean, it's all fun and games and everything.

...But if it wasn't all fun and games, then, we're here for a good time, not a long time.

I think my favourite part of the novel, after Cleves just being all kinds of SNARK GAME GOALS, is the idea of these girls all banding together unexpectedly. I really enjoyed those final chapters where everyone is together and working to do what's right. Hannah Capin just landed herself on my auto-buy authors list and this one is a clear contender for the funnest contemporary release of 2019. 

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