Oh, dear. If ever fiction became reality--well, these characters would be my new besties. Moment of silence for Sammy and Becca. (Moment of silence for me after one, or both of them, READS THIS.

Off with my head? Let's start taking bets now on how long I have before they destroy me at least verbally.)



This weeks topic was another one that I struggled with a bit, similarly to how I struggled with the fictional significant others post a couple years back. I'm not sure why. I guess I've never necessarily found myself thinking, hey, I want to be your BFF towards a lot of fictional characters. I'm a bit too boring for that. My imagination is far and wide, but apparently even it only goes so far.

You know* how it is. No matter how often you allow your imagination to stretch its limbs by writing about walking, talking expired fruit, or writing up accompanying stories to really weird stock photos, sometimes there's a line in the sand and that line is longing to befriend fictional characters who are infinitely cooler than you are.

*If you don't know how it is, this is the part where you may want to nod your head in agreement to make me feel better. My ego could always use a boost. Thanks. You're all beautiful and I don't deserve you. 

So, when I say things like, "I'm totally running to Claire's RIGHT NOW to get us matching necklaces to solidify our best friendship status" I'm probably not being totally truthful about it. A. Because I don't know if Claire's even still exists** and B. It's likely that I just feel like, if these characters were real people, I'd get along with them well enough.

**I may have hallucinated this but I swear it was going out of business? APPARENTLY IT ISN'T. Is this a sign that I need to stop drinking nearly a pot of coffee a day and start, you know, sleeping like a sane person? Maybe? Back to Claire's! Even more shocking, not only are they still around: they have a sale going on for $1 earrings. How old is too old for Claire's jewelry? Asking for a friend. 

If you've been following me for a period of longer than two weeks, you know who's about to be on this list. Mostly because I CANNOT STOP TALKING ABOUT THEM and will find almost any opening in any conversation to bring these characters, or the books they are from, up. It is what it is. We could be talking about a hot dog eating contest and I'd definitely bring the conversation back around to how much I love Magnus Bane.

Hell, it's highly probable that I've made you a power point in the past about why Blair Waldorf has had me in an emotional choke-hold since I was 12 or how IMPORTANT it is for me to attend Hogwarts and become study-buddies with Hermione Granger. It's fine. Act natural.





Did you expect anything less from me? Have I shook you to your very core? Am I blowing your mind here? I think at this point these characters are just a part of me. Not that I go around naming my fingers and toes and kidneys after them or another, but they've certainly made a mark on me. When I was a kid, I definitely wanted to be at Hogwarts and be a part of this golden trio. Not a lot has changed in that regard and, damn it, my Hogwarts letter is NEARLY 17 YEARS LATE and it's very stressful.

I just love the separate archetypes they each provide. It makes them work together perfectly. I need that kind of balance, given my complete lack of grace in all levels of life. If you don't spend your days making decisions with the Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasley on your shoulders* offering their commentary and helpful input, you're lying. If it's good enough for Harry, it's good enough for us. That's what I say.

That being said, I love Hermione's know-it-all personality and intelligence; Ron's humor and Harry's selflessness. I'd totally ruin the balance of their friendship now that I think about it BUT, Child Jessica really wants to be in their squad.

*Angels and Devil's on your shoulders are so last season. Get with the times, people. 


Cassandra Clare has basically made me her emotional punching bag in the span of a decade and tugs at my strings like a bloody marionette. It's best just to admit these things, right? She ALWAYS writes characters I relate to and love/want to befriend. When I first read The Mortal Instruments, I was like, "I want to be Isabelle Lightwood when I grow up" which is kind of hilarious considering the character was the same age as me at the time.

Give me all the badass girls dressed head to toe in fashionable looks! I mean, who wouldn't want a friend like that? We could go shopping and she could not only slaughter a demon to save my ass from being pulled down under, she could kick my ass when I inevitably overspend. Alec and I could just be petty and occasionally a little awkward and grumpy about ALL THE THINGS. Not to mention that the Lightwood family is incredibly loyal to those they love.

Who WOULDN'T* want to befriend a Lightwood?

*William Herondale, I'M SO SORRY, SWEETIE. I WASN'T THINKING. 

Magnus--well, that really goes without saying, right? We all know Magnus Bane is a legend. An icon. I don't think we even have to explain why anyone would want to be friends with him.


OKAY, HEAR ME OUT: I love them. They are two of my OG book icons, okay? Preteen Jessica lived and breathed these two. Teenage Jessica was basically raised by them. Adult me is a bit more skeptical but still LOVES them. I'm shameless about it. We all know that I've been Gossip Girl trash for so long, I'm basically a trashcan dressed up in couture and covered in pearls. I mean, trash is still trash, but. I'm stylish trash.

Tell me I'm pretty.

It's important to note that if you've never read the books, the shows portrayal of these two is VERY different from the books. TV Blair is fairly similar to Book Blair, but TV Blair is a lot more petty/cruel and stuck with, ah, lack of any growth. TV Vanessa is a travesty in comparison to Book Vanessa and yes I'm still bitter. I love how determined and flawed they both are. I just think that they'd be good friends--but, the kind of BFF that is better from a distance sometimes, you know? 

My favourite part of the Gossip Girl books is when Blair and Vanessa befriend one another and become roommates for a hot minute. Their friendship was really special and I'm forever bitter about the show in general, but especially over the way they treated Vanessa. 

Honorable mention: Serena van der Woodsen and Jenny Humphrey from Gossip Girl/The It-Girl; Brett Messerschmidt from The It-Girl and Baby Carlyle from Gossip Girl: The Carlyles.


Bet you guys thought I was going to say Connor Cobalt. Well, well, well. Okay. Fine. I was. It took a lot in me not to list the entire core six characters from the first two series, really. The reason I didn't pick Connor for this one is because we're too similar and that friendship would be suffocating. We'd be trying to outsmart each other and instead of being like, ILY BESTIE!, it'd be like: "Yeah, I tolerate you, please leave me alone for the next five to seven business days."

I ended up deciding on the Calloway Sisters as friendship goals re: the series because these three are fiercely loyal and warm and flawed and everything you could want from genuinely good girlfriends. That's what you need when it comes to girlfriends. The type who aren't terribly catty to each other and understand your flaws just as you understand theirs. That comes with being the type of sisters they are, but they've shown this quality elsewhere in their lives.

I feel like I've said this before about sixteen thousand times, but the Addicted series is basically the only series to have caught me in its grasp as tightly as Harry Potter. It's been to my twenties what Harry Potter was to my childhood-teenage years.