132 Thoughts I Had While Reading the Red Scrolls of Magic

5:35 PM

AKA, Magnus Bane and Alec Lightwood have my whole heart. This is not a spoiler free post. 
First of all, I'M SO SORRY. I meant to have this up last Thursday or Friday. I forgot to queue it. It was a busy, busy, busy week and I got a little forgetful! Also, I was distracted by (a) Shadowhunters ending on Freeform and (b) Finale by Stephanie Garber being released.

Reading The Red Scrolls of Magic was a massively important experience for me. I had definitely been waiting for it for years before it was even announced due to the sheer importance of Magnus Bane as a character for me, personally. That and the fact that I always want more books in The Shadowhunter Chronicles world.

I took so many notes. Had so many thoughts. My review? It may be longer than the book itself. (I am kidding. It's not going to be that long, hopefully.) And that's going to be on its way later this week. Until then, I definitely wanted to get back into the habit that Loretta got me in last year when it came to Thoughts I Had... themed entries.

So, here are 132 Thoughts I Had While Reading the Red Scrolls of Magic by Cassandra Clare and Wesley Chu.

  1. “All Magnus Bane wanted was a vacation...” is serving some Neville “Why is it Always Me?” Longbottom vibes
  2. It’s so Romantic in Paris... *blares Sabrina Carpenter's song Paris*
  3. Screaming about Magnus’ imaginary travel agent conversation. THIS IS ME. I AM MAGNUS BANE. I love one warlock.
  4. “I am a beret cornucopia.” I’d like this written on my tombstone for no real reason but the desire to have beret and cornucopia forever etched in stone. That way, if someone else tries to claim that title, someone can say OVER JESSICA'S DEAD BODY.
  5. Wish you were here. Except not really. Me when I finally get a vacation. Later, bitches! Who needs friends and family when tequila.
  6. Magnus really out here rubbing off on Alec in more ways than one. In this house, we stan power couples, only!
  7. “Ready for the next adventure?” gives me chills because these two have no idea how many more adventures they will have together. How much they will continue to have. How much they will grow. IM—
  8. Alec thinking about how he could protect Magnus if their balloon crashes. He loves him so much. I AM WEAK. They've known each other for a relatively short amount of time at this point and are already like looking at each other like 10/10 I'd die for this man.
  9. I love how emo Magnus is making me by simply thinking about the what ifs. What if he and Alec don’t last. About how he’d at least have these memories. Ouch. What if you stOP GIVING ME HEART PALPITATIONS YOU PUNK.
  10. Honestly though Magnus cheerfully admitting he doesn’t know how to work the controls on the balloon, after all, and that he just planned to use magic? ISSA MOOD. Me as a warlock. Actually, me as a mundane too. I vaguely remember me drunkenly trying to walk to my friends car after falling and him being like, yeah you're not doing that, and me being like *limps dramatically* I'M IMPROVISING, OKAY?
  11. Romance was a lot of work. TRUE. *plays Work From Home by Fifth Harmony*
  12. Not to be on a Magnus is me binge but Magnus offering Alec champagne is me. See smoke from a mysterious fire? Oh, I’ll pour one out. My energy requires the booze.
  13. Real talk: Alec studying a map of Paris before their vacation is totally on brand. Who studies before a vacation? A LIGHTWOOD, that’s who. Those Lightwoods. Far more interesting than the Kardashians.
  14. Magnus mourning the loss of his champagne? A mood.
  15. “I only bring the medium-prized bottles to drink on a dangling platform a thousand feet in the air.” M-E.
  16. Magnus Bane is truly spectacular.
  18. These two dweebs are sO SOFT.
  19. Alec talking about the stars and how he doesn’t get why its romantic is so on brand for him.
  20. Heck yes, honey!!!!!!!! STAMINA RUNE!
  21. *Let’s Get it On begins to play*
  22. *record scratch as Malec realizes Tessa is just chilling in the apartment*
  23. Tessa’s wry smile. I have missed her. Always my QUEEN. I love her. Adopt me, Tessa.
  24. The brief mentions of Magnus and Tessa’s past and friendship has a bitch (!!!!!! me) nearly sobbing. I WILL BE FINE. I WILL BE.
  25. “She looked again at Alec, who had inherited his coloring from Shadowhunters long gone. Shadowhunters Tessa had loved.” OKAY SO IT IS APPARENTLY STAB JESSICA’S FEELINGS DAY. It is an international holiday. Next time bring gifts, CC and WC. I'll accept tissues, ice cream and maybe a therapist's number. Thanks.
  26. Ohhhhhh, Alec. Angel. No.
  27. Tessa and Magnus’ obvious disgust and discomfort over Alec asking if they dated. I LOVE THIS SONG. They're basically a disgusted child-eating-spinach meme.
  28. Magnus trusting Alec with his life, no questions? True love. The purest form. The only form of love TO EXIST, SORRY I DON'T MAKE THE RULES HERE.
  29. Diving into potential darkness in Magnus’ past??????? Yes???? nO?????
  30. Tessa asking Alec to take care of Magnus. If AIM was still a thing, that exchange would be my away message for at least a year. AT. LEAST.
  31. Nothing is ruined. I AM SOFT.
  32. Honestly the love Alec has for Magnus is the soul of these books. Completely. Always.
  33. THIS JUST IN: Alec Lightwood deserves THE WHOLE WORLD.
  34. “The thought of Magnus, such a bright presence, being put away in the dark made Alec physically flinch.”
  35. Lightwood siblings for life. MY FAMILY.
  36. The mention of Clary and Isabelle’s friendship and how much Izzy valued it just saved 2019. My skin is clear. I am thriving. Clizzy has my whole heart.
  37. Alec realizing Tessa reminds him of Jace.
  38. I AM HOWLING. Alec asking Jace a question relating to sex and Jace TOTALLY MISSING IT. We have decided to stan one oblivious dork forever.
  39. The world is sometimes unkind to Warlocks. Sometimes we feel a temptation to be unkind back.
  40. “And tonight, it’s where your faerie aunt Martha comes to buy her monthly supply of illegal newt eyeballs.” WHEN I SAY I SCREAMED......... !!!!!
  41. Johnny! A Kit mention! Unexpected in a good way.
  42. So the cult is worshiping Asmodeus? A fan-club for daddy demon, how quaint.
  43. Alec and Magnus being apart for, like, two seconds and Alec now appears to be covered in mud? Typical. Shadowhunters cannot be left alone!
  44. “Hey, honey,” said Magnus. “What’s new?” Honestly, the only way to approach your mud caked boyfriend. And I mean THE ONLY WAY.
  45. My heart. Alec thinking he failed to protect Max. Damnit.
  46. We love a paternal Alec Lightwood! Making sure the faerie girl gets some food by giving her money and telling her to stop stealing. Hoping, and choosing to believe, the girl really was young and in need. And feeling happy to have helped. A SOFTIE. A TOTAL SOFTIE.
  47. Sometimes I forget how insufferable Robert Lightwood was. Especially at the beginning. Then, I’m reminded and angry.
  48. Facts only! Men really do look good in tuxedos. (People in general do.)
  49. Nothing says c*ckblock like a Drevak demon interrupting Malec in the shower.
  50. This exchange between Alec and the werewolf girl is so sweet. The respect. Her saying she’ll do anything he asks when it comes to fighting demons. And all he asks is to look for Rose—the faerie girl at the Shadow Market—and feed her. 10/10 would die for Alec Lightwood.
  51. LMAO. Juliette (above mentioned werewolf girl) and Magnus both disappointed that Alec had to put his shirt on.
  52. “The tentacle was not a huge comfort.” I mean, I can’t imagine that it would be.
  53. Magnus’ sarcasm in the aftermath of a demon attack is so relatable.
  54. Also, him immediately brightening over Shinyun’s suggestion they meet at the bar car is ME.
  55. Magnus wishing he could travel back in time to kick himself in the head is also me. Try to contain your shock.
  56. Should I make a drinking game about me and all the times I relate to Magnus? I think I should. I’m going to.
  57. TA-DA!
  58. Catarina is the real MVP of The Shadowhunter Chronicles.
  59. RAPHAEL!!!!!!!!!
  60. This whole exchange between the faerie, Alec and Raphael has me ROLLING.
  62. The Faerie continues to shoot her shot and honestly I admire and respect that. She has game. Just not very good game. Game nonetheless.
  64. This whole scene is peak comedy and I will die on this hill. I've decided it. There's no going back.
  65. Raphael signing an autograph on a leaf with LEAVE ME ALONE is my aesthetic. Leaf me alone u fool.
  66. Alec knows Jace so well. I love them.
  67. Also, I love Lily. 10/10 would read a spin-off about her.
  68. “I’ve decided I detest you,” Lily told Alec. LOOKS LIKE THEY COULD KILL YOU BUT ACTUALLY CINNAMON ROLLS. I AM TELLING YOU. THIS IS WHAT THEY ARE. I love grumpy sarcasm that masks softies.
  69. Helen! Blackthorn! My! Daughter!
  70. I love how skeptical she is of Alec. And everything. She is basically Dana Scullying the place. We stan.
  71. Seeing Alec’s POV is such a treat. He grew so much. Seeing it happen in real time, so early on, is a gift.
  72. This party is so intriguing. Intense.
  73. DJ BAT!!!!!!
  74. Oh, Alec. Honey. “He’d always assumed that storybook moments like these were meant for Jace, Isabelle, anyone but him. Yet here he was.”
  75. Yes, everyone, get behind Alec!
  76. It’s a shame Malcolm became, well, what he always was in The Dark Artifices.
  77. Alec saving Catarina!!!!!!!!! THATS MY BOY!
  78. Finally, her approval! We stan a queen with TASTE!
  79. Alexander Lightwood gets shit DONE.
  80. Raphael :( SWEETIE. It just hit me, now that Alec thought of it, because I am slow, that Raphael was texting Ragnor Fell. RF. Is it crying in here or is that just rain?
  81. Raphael talking about how great Tessa is, is the ultimate mood. Legends that stan other legends? We give thanks.
  82. Magnus/Raphaels friendship. End comment.
  83. Honestly Raphael blatantly lying about not having a phone, despite being seen with one, is me when weird men at bars approach me. Actually, I scare them off by babbling about Six Fingered Nigel, but that's just semantics.
  84. Also, Lily and Elliot mocking the historic occasion that is Raphael giving Alec his phone number and suggesting another drink? ICONIC.
  85. “He was so kind that he could dismiss healing or helping as just another day.” S-O-F-T.
  86. Magnus calling “his” cult low-rent is the best thing that has happened to me. Well, that and that time I found an ARC of one of The Raven Cycle books at a Little Free Library. Again, semantics.
  87. “Perhaps all love sailed too close to madness. The deeper the love, the more dangerous.”
  88. Alec admitting he misses Clary “a bit” and Magnus referring to her as biscuit just saved 2019. This whole book will now be filed under "Saved 2019" for obvious reasons.
  89. Love the little glimpses of Alec and Izzy’s sibling bond/trust. Need more. Gimme, gimme (more) gimme (wHAT) gimme gimme MORE.
  90. Is it possible to love Magnus Bane more than I already do? Yes, apparently.
  91. Aline and Alec are so Awkward. I love them. A is for Aline, Alec and Awkward.
  92. Leon is boring AND annoying. But, like, shoot your shot I guess? Maybe someone should introduce him to the tree fairy shifter lady.
  93. Oh my GOD, Aline is so cute and obvious. Asking Alec if he has Helen’s number “in case” they “get separated” I LOVE HER.
  94. All of the guilt Magnus feels HURTS and I DO NOT APPROVE!
  95. Shinyun’s backstory... being buried alive? Oh. No.
  96. Still can’t figure out if I trust her. Seems to be suspicious Magnus’ phone is now not working, after she moved/touched it. I'm probably right. I'm slow sometimes but like I KNOW SHADOWHUNTERS BASED STUFF.
  97. Loving how bold Helen is. About to propose, BRB.
  98. Alec and Raphael bantering is NOT a personality trait but if it were it’d be my number one trait. Fight me.
  99. Raphael: Don’t call me.
    Raphael five seconds later: Don’t hang up.
    Alec: hangs up.
    Raphael, calling him back immediately after:
  100. OOOOOOKAY. So! I really, really want to like Shinyun. But, in the wise words of Fox Mulder, trust no one. I trust NO ONE, okay? Scully and Mulder raised me. Seriously, trust no one!
  101. Except *insert pretty much all of the main characters in The Shadowhunter Chronicles*
  102. Helen, marry me. Well, actually, hurry up and get to the love part with Aline. But! Marry! Me!
  103. I am so tense over this ?????????????? I mean theoretically I know that Magnus, Alec, Helen and Aline are safe. But, I feel like the sweltering heat and tension of waiting is passing through the paper and into my mind. It stings.
  104. Magnus, after things are going wrong and he feels weak: Everything’s fine.
  105. DAMNIT SHINYUN, I was hoping you weren’t bad. I was rooting for you! We were all rooting for you! I have never in my life yelled at a—
  106. By the angel, I love that Magnus is still sarcastic after all of this shit. ALSO, MY LOVELY PARABATAI KAYLE WOULD LOVE THIS.
  107. I honestly am with Magnus. This is sad and terrifying and not a good look but I can’t hate Shinyun either. Not truly. Can I dislike her and her actions intensely? Yes. Hate her? No. Shit.
  108. “Also, hello, evil cult member Bernard” is me again in terrifying situations. Like, when I got hit by a car, and my parents got to the ER, and I grinned at them from my neck brace and said WELCOME TO MY NEW CRIB! (My mom looked murderous. I am fairly certain if I hadn’t almost died, she’d have killed me for that joke. At least, verbally.)
  109. And now we’re passed terrified and straight to angry!!!!!!!! SQUARE UP, Shinyun! I am ready to fight you! I can't even kill ANTS but honey I'M GONNA DESTROY YOU!!!! Hoooooo boy.
  110. Helen. Darling. Honey. No! Don’t cry! Agggghhhhh!
  111. This scene between Alec, Aline and Helen though!
  112. Supreme sarcasm, thy name is Magnus Bane.
  113. Magnus is like two seconds away from death and he is asking if they can handle this in a civilized manner. Aka, over drinks. Some points were made.
  114. “Magnus felt only gratitude for his life.” I love one (1) man.
  115. Aline and Helen: the couple who drags everyone together, stays together.
  117. That certainly backfired, didn’t it?
  118. Bernard did that!
  119. Okay but really Bernard is a definitely calm brand of chaos and flaming trash.
  120. Asmodeus shut the hell up challenge.
  122. Helen Blackthorn crying for Alec’s pain, for Magnus. And telling the members of the Crimson Hand to shut up. I love one (1) woman.
  123. Malec are strong, fierce and determined. More than that, they are each others strength.
  124. Leon “Thirsty for Malec” Verlac.
  125. Alec... what he just said to Shinyun. I have to wonder much of the same. Who would she be, if not for all the betrayal?
  126. Tessa and Magnus invented true, platonic love. Their friendship is a lot.
  127. “Love changes you. Love changes the world. You cannot lose that love, no matter how long you live, I think.”
  128. I am swooning. Their first time!
  129. “He belonged with Alec. His wandering heart could rest.”
  130. RAGNOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KNOWS!!!!!!!! BEST!!!!!!!!
  131. That was an unexpected ending.
No bottles of champagne were harmed in the making of this post. However, one bottle of Cooper's Hawk Passion Fruit wine was consumed.

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