➵ Ranking Every Netflix Original Holiday Film
4:30 PM
❄ It's the most wonderful time of the year! ☃
Designed by Freepik
As you guys know, my holiday spirit was severely dampened before it even had the chance to bloom, due in part to my father having lost his job of two decades back in October. This December has felt gloomy and... un-December like because of this.
I've decided to pull myself out of the funk, however, and get to work on something fun, in an effort to get into the spirit again. Thus, the utterly un-unique Booked J's 12 Days of Christmas was formed. I had already planned on doing something similar to it earlier this year, but suddenly decided not to do so.
Then, in true Booked J fashion, I backtracked on myself and said, hell with it. We're doing it. Then, I backtracked again, because I'm nothing if not consistently flaky, and decided I'd just do a couple of Christmas themed posts and call it a Christmas roast or whatever.
Recently, I discovered the pure joy of Netflix's Original Holiday Films. Last year, everyone was all about A Christmas Prince and missed out on the hype for no real reason other than my own laziness. Fortunately for me, I rectified that and accidentally ("accidentally") binged most of their Christmas movies within a couple of days.
These films are not exactly great. Many would say they are bad. Many have said they are bad. It just so happens they are the kind of bad I want to curl up to, complete with a cup of hot cocoa and some gingerbread cookies.
And really, who says that is bad?
Boring people*, that's who.
*I'm mostly kidding. Taste is subjective.
Things I Look For in Holiday Films That Netflix Totally NAILS Sometimes:
- The warm and fuzzies. If it doesn't give me the warm and fuzzies, it doesn't count. Sorry, Gremlins. You are a good bad holiday flick, but you lack the warm and fuzzies that cheesier ones posses. It's not you, it's me. Actually, it IS you. Sorry.
- Happily ever afters. I'll be upfront with you: I only expect a HEA from Holiday movies. If there's no HEA, the movie no longer exists in my eyes. Oops! Bonus points if the HEA is CHEESY and COMPLETELY UNREALISTIC. I'm here for it. But, only in the holiday season. It must be the sugary treats.
- Beautiful sets and costumes. If you don't look like you stepped out of a Christmas card, I'll swipe right. Or, er, whatever the film watching equivalent of swiping right is.
- The right soundtrack. I don't want just the same five classic songs. I want the whole damn Christmas soundtrack. New. Old. Overrated. Underrated. Something I've heard a hundred times at the mall. Something I've never heard at all. Play the freaking Glee holiday soundtracks and follow it with something classic. I want to hear Ariana Grande and then some Bing Crosby, I don't care. Play. It. All.
- Pretty sure us Christmas movie lovers have some variation of "More royal romances" or "Less royal romances" tattooed on our foreheads. Personally, I'm of the MOREMOREMORE variety. But, I kind of have bad taste? So maybe you shouldn't listen to me?
- Holiday tropes that should never die: HEY, you look exactly like me. We should totally switch places. That's cool, right?
- Wise children. They're a rare breed. In holiday movies, they're ever present. While I love my goddaughter dearly, she isn't going to be shelling out heartfelt advice (like the time she threw a fit about buying discount shoes and told her mother: "I don't do cheap shoes.") like the cute little nugget in A Christmas Prince. In-fact, she'd probably blackmail me into buying her expensive shoes if she'd been in that role.
- Villains that don't have silly backstories, only silly desires and really dumb actions. I want a villain who looks like he or she will smack you down with a jumbo sized candy-cane just to steal your Christmas tree, but is too dumb to do so successfully!
AND NOW... the main attraction.
(Note: I don't think that I've watched all of the Netflix Originals, so I'm mostly sticking to the ~romantic~ ones.
So, my titles is #FAKENEWS because it's probably not every original holiday film.)
5. A Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding
Yes. Was it as good as the first one? Nope!
4. A Christmas Prince
Did anybody say, "Completely unrealistic Royal romance and luxurious sets?"
3. Christmas Inheritance
AND the true wonders of giving.
2. The Holiday Calendar
Two BFFs who are TOTALLY NOT IN LOVE falling in love with each other? Check.
1. The Princess Switch
I accidentally (there's that word again) have watched it three times already.
If so, which?
0 comments